Picture this: Elsie, Dean and I are on an innocent errand to Costco this afternoon to purchase baby formula. That's it. Little did we know what atrocities awaited us.Costco atrocities:
- "LUV2COK" license plate spotted upon pulling into parking lot. We tried multiple iterations to try to discern what this meant and are quite confident it's a shortened version of "love to cock".
- Overfed "lady" (she was probably in her early 30s) in the parking lot wearing a half-shirt (with fully exposed belly) covered with a macrame shawl. Elsie thought that maybe she was pregnant. I know she's just overweight with no fashion sense.
- Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. What is this - 1983?! Sure - I rocked those bitches when I was a tween at the roller rink but, really...
- A man with an ill-fitting toupee (and he had used a liberal amount of pomade [perhaps in an attempt to make it look more "real"?])
- The scariest vendor rep on the face of the earth. She's hawking ECOS laundry detergent (which I've used and think it's awful). While I was pointing out this flawed detergent to Elsie the rep pounced upon us. When she opened her mouth I almost passed out. "Lady" appeared to have all her teeth but oddly they were all pointing in different directions. How does that happen?
Now - the trip wasn't a total loss. Dean got some cute outfits. Elsie and I were also impressed by the number of organic products available. But, whoa - if this is what goes on in and around Costco is it safe to return for an inexpensive bunch of bananas or a tetra pak of organic soup?
