Adventures on Public Transportation

I rarely take BART.  Because I hate people, the environment and the lack of oxygen on BART trains.

But - from time to time it happens.  I'll take BART.  But only on special occasions.  Tuesday night was one of those occasions.  Nothing noteworthy on the ride in (except that I sat with The Tami - always a treat!).  But the ride home was another story...

Between Montgomery and Rockridge stations I saw:

• a woman (not Katie Holmes) reading "Dianetics" (WTF?  Hail Xenu!)
• exposed breast (OK - she was breast-feeding but come on - use a drape or something!  BART isn't Hooters...)
• a guy I went to high school with (I can't escape my hometown)
• a hot guy wearing old school Air Jordans (sigh...)

All the while I'm minding my own business and listening to Bread on my iPod.

Angel Soft? My Ass...

Being a creature of habit I have purchased the same brand of terlet paper for years.  I don't know the brand but the package has a bunch of pink on it.  Not only is the packaging hella pretty but that sheesh is soft - just the way I like it.

The other day I went to my local Long's Drugs to buy terlet paper (along with tampons, Long's Drugs brand lube, douche and a #2 pencil).  My local Long's Drugs is wee - about the size of my foot.  OK - that's an exaggeration.  The store is larger than a woman's size 6.5 but you know what I mean...

Being a wee store they didn't have my pink packaging terlet paper so I bought what I thought would be a suitable substitute.  A number labeled "Angel Soft".  How could I resist?  I've never touched an angel but I suppose they're soft.  Couldn't wait to get home and try it out.  I imagined it would feel like wiping with a cloud.

Let me just say that if this is what angels feel like - get me some angel repellant.  Who allowed the company to use this name?  It's totally misleading - an outrage.  They should change the name of this terlet paper from "Angel Soft" to "Knuckle Sandwich Soft" - that's simply more honest.

Viva Los Gigantes!

Shield your eyes, children.  Yes, those are actual images of acid wash jeans and exposed azzcrack.  What is with today's youth?!  Ay dios mio...

Went to the Giants game last night with a pack of friends and silliness ensued.  The first photo is of sweet, innocent, naive IAH and JLib drinking beers before going to the game.  Little did we know what high jinks awaited us.

The night's high/low-lights:

• finding street parking near the ballpark - hurrah!
• arriving on time to meet our friends at Momo's - woot woot!
• it was Emiko's first baseball game - can I get a what what?
• hanging out with Michael's new work pal Jess - good times!
• a girl sitting in front of us was wearing acid wash jeans - oy!
• JLib doing the "Carlton Dance" (whatever that is) and getting on the big screen - sweet!
• JLib being chastised by the pretzel lady for requesting a pretzel with "some salt"(when the only two options were with or without salt) - shame!
• exposed azzcrack in negative 5 degrees fahrenheit weather (OK, it wasn't really that cold but still - that azz should have been covered up) - gag me with a spoon!
• the drunkard "lady" putting the moves on Michael by mocking his moustache while grabbing her breasts - dude...

OMG - Crystal Gayle!

Who has the greatest, silliest friends in the whole wide world?  IAH does, that's who.

Here's the situation.  Elsie's on vacation this weekend.  I'm sitting at the kitchen table this morning sipping on coffee and singing along to Oingo Boingo (don't judge me...).  Suddenly a text message comes through on my phone.  It's a photo text.  I'm thinking "Oh - must be a cute Dean photo from his first plane trip".  I'm giddy with anticipation for the photo to load.  But instead it's this photo of a random woman she spotted in a parking lot rocking Crystal Gayle hair.  Crystal Gayle hair kills me - just kills me - every time I see it.  I can't help but stare, comment, gag, point and laugh.  But to have this sent via text just takes it to a whole new level.  Thank you, Elsie.  You've made my day.

Now - don't get me wrong.  I'm not hating on Crystal Gayle.  How could I?  Not only is she Loretta Lynn's sister (you know I love love love Loretta Lynn) but she sings my theme song "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue".  OK, it's not my theme song (but I do have brown eyes so she must be singing about me, right?).  It's just that Crystal Gayle hair is so, well, you know...

But, really, this is my favorite Crystal Gayle song (didn't I tell you not to judge me?!).

Dean and His BFF

This afternoon I had a surprise visit from Elsie and Dean who were running errands in the neighborhood.  At least that's the story Elsie tells.  I suspect Dean was asking for some quality snuggle time with his BFFs (Marvin and Shamus) but she's too proud to say it...

Anyhoo - needless to say it was ridiculous.  Not just because the kitties are enormous and tower over Dean.  But because Elsie and I (being the tards we are) forced both kitties and Dean into snuggle positions.  Ah - kids and pets are the best...

Next time we'll take video (especially if we can get Dean and Marvin to spoon again).  That sheesh is going straight to CuteOverload.com.

Scoops of Heaven

Met Elsie and Sar in Tiburon yesterday for a walk and lunch (at Sam's - yums!).  The weather was beautiful and we had a great time.  But the absolute best part?  The ice cream we had afterward.  Oh - it was heaven in a waffle cone.  Seriously...

John Norris? Eek!

So I'm watching MTV on a lazy Sunday afternoon (my new favorite atrocity "Gs to Gents" was on...) when I catch a glimpse of MTV VJ John Norris during a commercial.  Um, hello?  Is it just me or is he the creepiest looking guy on television (besides Flavor Flav, of course).  No, he's never been a Hunkasaurus Rex but I feel like something has gone quite wrong.  As if with each passing year he morphs more into a Keebler Elf.