Thanks, Jemmy!

Music is my king sized bed!

OMG - IAH!

Thank goodness for ex-boyfriends who keep photos and own scanners :)

Who knew I was so multi-talented in 1995?  I can laugh (on Fire Island), shoot (somewhere in upstate NY) and deface the wall outside Graceland.  Ah, the salad days of youth...

Attack of the Crystal Gayles!

Another one - and she's nekkid!  Um, OK - so it's not a real woman but still counts as a Crystal Gayle hair sighting.  I saw this one today while Michelle and I were wandering through the DeYoung Museum.  Art nerds beware...you can run but you can't hide from Crystal Gayle hair.

I heart Marvin

Marvin in his box-bed using a catnip toy for a pillow :)

Is this IAH in ten years?

I love my kitties (shout out to Marvin and Shamus). But please don't let me turn into this woman. Please!

I mean - it's fine that I've taught Marvin to make my cocktails, right? And Shamus gives a divine pedicure. But this lady is totally over the top...

Ahhhh.....love to love you, Costco...

Picture this:  Elsie, Dean and I are on an innocent errand to Costco this afternoon to purchase baby formula.  That's it.  Little did we know what atrocities awaited us.

Costco atrocities:

• "LUV2COK" license plate spotted upon pulling into parking lot.  We tried multiple iterations to try to discern what this meant and are quite confident it's a shortened version of "love to cock". 
• Overfed "lady" (she was probably in her early 30s) in the parking lot wearing a half-shirt (with fully exposed belly) covered with a macrame shawl.  Elsie thought that maybe she was pregnant.  I know she's just overweight with no fashion sense.
• Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.  What is this - 1983?!  Sure - I rocked those bitches when I was a tween at the roller rink but, really...
• A man with an ill-fitting toupee (and he had used a liberal amount of pomade [perhaps in an attempt to make it look more "real"?])
• The scariest vendor rep on the face of the earth.  She's hawking ECOS laundry detergent (which I've used and think it's awful).  While I was pointing out this flawed detergent to Elsie the rep pounced upon us.  When she opened her mouth I almost passed out.  "Lady" appeared to have all her teeth but oddly they were all pointing in different directions.  How does that happen?

Now - the trip wasn't a total loss.  Dean got some cute outfits.  Elsie and I were also impressed by the number of organic products available.  But, whoa - if this is what goes on in and around Costco is it safe to return for an inexpensive bunch of bananas or a tetra pak of organic soup?

Crystal Gayle...again?!

Another day, another Crystal Gayle doppelganger...

I don't know what makes this story better - the fact that there's another "lady" sporting the classic CG 'do(n't) or the circumstances around the sighting.  You be the judge...

Elsie, Dean and I were frantically driving through the streets of Oakland and Berkeley in search of this bike shop (see below).  We pulled over to regroup (e.g., call the store for address and give Dean a bottle and cuddles [he was worn out from the trip to Costco {see above}]).  While we've got a few minutes of downtime Elsie says "I think it's a good idea to start a Crystal Gayle hair website.  What should we call it?".  We're brainstorming ideas when this specimen walks past us.  In classic IAH mode, I'm a total deer in headlights.  I'm staring at her, mouth agape and shaking my head in horror.  Thankfully Elsie was there.  Now that she's a mom she has faster reflexes.  She immediately snaps me out of my Crystal Gayle reverie with shouts of "Take a photo!  Get out of the car!  RUN!!!!".  Next thing you know I'm running down the street to catch up with "lady".  Thankfully there was a red light where she had to wait to cross the street or else I never would have captured this beauty.

My favorite television show of all time

"Parker Lewis Can't Lose" - love it!

I think I'll get a bike

I've been thinking about getting a bike for a while now.  I have an image in my head of the "ideal bike".  A cruiser style bike that's, well, cute.

I had looked around a little bit with no success until yesterday...

Loraine and I were walking around College Avenue enjoying our scoops of peanut butter cup ice cream when we came upon the Hank & Frank bike shop.  They had a few cruiser bikes out front and we decided to go in and ask a few questions.  Not only did we have the nicest salesperson but he was full of good information.  After much consideration I'm feeling like this is the bike for me (see above photo).  Unfortunately it only comes in white and red (and I HATE white...).  In my head I imagined a pink or sea foam green bike but red will do, right?

Elvis has left the building

I've been remiss and am late in recognizing the anniversary of Elvis' death.  

I love Elvis.  No - I LOVE Elvis.  Is it that he's the most handsome man I've ever seen?  Is it his flair (and is the reason I love men with flair?)?  Is it the sideburns and black leather suit in the 1968 Comeback Special?  I just don't know...

• Favorite Elvis songs:  A Little Less Conversation, Tiger Man, (You're So Square) Baby I Don't Care, In The Ghetto, Always On My Mind and Suspicious Minds 
  
• Favorite Elvis Christmas songs:  Blue Christmas, Santa Bring My Baby Back To Me and Santa Claus Is Back In Town 
• Favorite Elvis look:  1968 Comeback Special (such fierce hair and sideburns!)
• # of Graceland visits:  two
• # of times I heckled the tour guide about Elvis' death on the toilet:  at least three
• Favorite Graceland memory:  stealing a flower from Elvis' grave

Good Old #2

OMG - Noo!!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

Even After All These Years...

...this song still makes me weepy.

Reminds me of:
DKR (it was "our song" after all)
my youth
my first love
promise
"feeling the good times of love's miracle"

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Lila Downs = my ultimate girl crush.

I promise you - I'm not cooking meth. I'm just congested.

All week I've been plagued by ear issues.  Is it due to Monday's swimming hi jinks?  Is it allergy congestion?  Only Jesus and/or Cher know...  

Anyhoo, today I followed my mom's advice and stopped by the Longs Drugs pharmacy to ask what they suggest for my earache/ stuffiness issue.  Lady (and I use that term loosely) is all "If it's water in your ear, use Swimmer's Ear drops.  If it's congestion, breathe in lots of steam, drink a lot of water and take a decongestant like Sudafed".  I'm all "OK".  Then I go to buy Sudafed from the shelf.  Turns out they don't sell it -  you have to pick up a card, bring it to the pharmacy and purchase there.  Annoyance #1:  why didn't "lady" save me a trip to the shelf if I was just going to end up back at the pharmacy counter?

I hand the Sudafed card to "lady".  She's all "Wait and I'll get this for you".  She comes back and is all "Someone else has to ring this up for you".  I'm all "Hmph!".  Then the other "lady" comes to ring me up and pulls out a Trapper Keeper notebook I need to fill out.  Annoyance #2:  they make me give my name, address, signature and show my ID in order to buy one box of Sudafed.  WTF?!

Take one look at me and you know I'm don't have a meth habit.  Come on - I'm overfed and (in my humble opinion) have nice teeth.  These are not qualities that describe your typical meth user.

After all this hullaballoo at Longs this Sudafed had better work or else...

Are You There, Nature? It's Me, IAH.

I went camping (for the first time ever!) this past weekend.  That's right.  Me.  Camping.  It really happened.  And I have witnesses (and a blister on my toe) to prove it.

Spent the weekend with The Tami and Sean (and their pup Sienna).  Ate super well.  Sean is a whiz with a camping stove.  We had shrimp and scallop risotto on Friday night.  Dude!!!

Hiked from Pan Toll to Stinson Beach on Saturday (hence the toe blister).  It was dusty but beautiful.  Redwoods galore.  Then lunch at Stinson, naps at the beach and cocktails before heading back up the hill.

Overall - the camping was fun.  The nights were too warm (don't know what the sleeping bag was lined with - live alpacas?!) but no other complaints.  Hurrah!!

Invasion of the Crystal Gayles

Seems like these days I just can't get away from the Crystal Gayle hair.  What is going on here?  Perhaps I should start a website for chronicling these sightings (ala MulletsGalore.com)?

The latest sighting was at (Popo)Zao in Emeryville.  Emeryville, people!  That's too close to Oakland.  Too close for comfort.  And I spotted this one myself while lunching with Loraine and The Tami.  I was almost too upset to eat my DanDan Noodles (but I was able to maintain, thankfully..).

Adventures on Public Transportation

I rarely take BART.  Because I hate people, the environment and the lack of oxygen on BART trains.

But - from time to time it happens.  I'll take BART.  But only on special occasions.  Tuesday night was one of those occasions.  Nothing noteworthy on the ride in (except that I sat with The Tami - always a treat!).  But the ride home was another story...

Between Montgomery and Rockridge stations I saw:

• a woman (not Katie Holmes) reading "Dianetics" (WTF?  Hail Xenu!)
• exposed breast (OK - she was breast-feeding but come on - use a drape or something!  BART isn't Hooters...)
• a guy I went to high school with (I can't escape my hometown)
• a hot guy wearing old school Air Jordans (sigh...)

All the while I'm minding my own business and listening to Bread on my iPod.

Angel Soft? My Ass...

Being a creature of habit I have purchased the same brand of terlet paper for years.  I don't know the brand but the package has a bunch of pink on it.  Not only is the packaging hella pretty but that sheesh is soft - just the way I like it.

The other day I went to my local Long's Drugs to buy terlet paper (along with tampons, Long's Drugs brand lube, douche and a #2 pencil).  My local Long's Drugs is wee - about the size of my foot.  OK - that's an exaggeration.  The store is larger than a woman's size 6.5 but you know what I mean...

Being a wee store they didn't have my pink packaging terlet paper so I bought what I thought would be a suitable substitute.  A number labeled "Angel Soft".  How could I resist?  I've never touched an angel but I suppose they're soft.  Couldn't wait to get home and try it out.  I imagined it would feel like wiping with a cloud.

Let me just say that if this is what angels feel like - get me some angel repellant.  Who allowed the company to use this name?  It's totally misleading - an outrage.  They should change the name of this terlet paper from "Angel Soft" to "Knuckle Sandwich Soft" - that's simply more honest.

Viva Los Gigantes!

Shield your eyes, children.  Yes, those are actual images of acid wash jeans and exposed azzcrack.  What is with today's youth?!  Ay dios mio...

Went to the Giants game last night with a pack of friends and silliness ensued.  The first photo is of sweet, innocent, naive IAH and JLib drinking beers before going to the game.  Little did we know what high jinks awaited us.

The night's high/low-lights:

• finding street parking near the ballpark - hurrah!
• arriving on time to meet our friends at Momo's - woot woot!
• it was Emiko's first baseball game - can I get a what what?
• hanging out with Michael's new work pal Jess - good times!
• a girl sitting in front of us was wearing acid wash jeans - oy!
• JLib doing the "Carlton Dance" (whatever that is) and getting on the big screen - sweet!
• JLib being chastised by the pretzel lady for requesting a pretzel with "some salt"(when the only two options were with or without salt) - shame!
• exposed azzcrack in negative 5 degrees fahrenheit weather (OK, it wasn't really that cold but still - that azz should have been covered up) - gag me with a spoon!
• the drunkard "lady" putting the moves on Michael by mocking his moustache while grabbing her breasts - dude...

OMG - Crystal Gayle!

Who has the greatest, silliest friends in the whole wide world?  IAH does, that's who.

Here's the situation.  Elsie's on vacation this weekend.  I'm sitting at the kitchen table this morning sipping on coffee and singing along to Oingo Boingo (don't judge me...).  Suddenly a text message comes through on my phone.  It's a photo text.  I'm thinking "Oh - must be a cute Dean photo from his first plane trip".  I'm giddy with anticipation for the photo to load.  But instead it's this photo of a random woman she spotted in a parking lot rocking Crystal Gayle hair.  Crystal Gayle hair kills me - just kills me - every time I see it.  I can't help but stare, comment, gag, point and laugh.  But to have this sent via text just takes it to a whole new level.  Thank you, Elsie.  You've made my day.

Now - don't get me wrong.  I'm not hating on Crystal Gayle.  How could I?  Not only is she Loretta Lynn's sister (you know I love love love Loretta Lynn) but she sings my theme song "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue".  OK, it's not my theme song (but I do have brown eyes so she must be singing about me, right?).  It's just that Crystal Gayle hair is so, well, you know...

But, really, this is my favorite Crystal Gayle song (didn't I tell you not to judge me?!).